Funny pick-up lines

I browsed through the internet and I found some funny pick-up lines, handpicked by me, so you can be sure that there are no corny ones! Enjoy
1.God loves everyone, but I'm his favourite.

2.Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

3.The seafood diet: See food and eat it

4.Nobody is perfect, I am the nobody.

5.Do you want...
Coffee? Tea? Me?

6.Do you like water?(yes)then you already like 70 percent of me!

7.Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you for so long!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!

8.A gamer desperate for love:
"I really need to find a new girlfriend, hopefully one who boosts the attack power of adjacent allies."

9.Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?

10.If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Here are some actual newspaper headlines!


1.Miners Refuse to Work after Death
2.Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
3.Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
4.Include your Children when Baking Cookies
5.Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training